I've not been a regular comics reader for years now.  There was a time when I had a pull box at the local comics shop.  Though it wasn't really necessary since I'd show up at opening time every Wednesday and buy all my new comics for the week as soon as they came out of the cardboard.  I don't know if it was a new appreciation for wasted money, an emotional disconnect from spandex-clad power fantasies, or an aversion to body odor, but I just stopped going one day and never came back.

A few times, I've thought about returning to mainstream superhero comics, but it just seems like too daunting a task.  Since I've been gone, DC and Marvel have turned all their titles into a convoluted mess of continuity-busting crossovers.  They're nonsensical to anyone who hasn't read a speech bubble in the last three years and doesn't fall somewhere on the autism spectrum.

And it looks like even if I could wade my way through the plots, I'd barely recognize any of these characters.  I remember Speedball as a bouncy, bubbly joke of a Marvel hero with one of the more ridiculous costumes around.  His power was that he could roll into a ball and fly at things without getting hurt.  

But in some recent fanwank crossover, he was burdened with the weight of some kind of genocide and got all dark and sad.  Because according to a comic book fan's perception of reality, dark and sad equal mature and adult.  He also got a new name, Penance, which sounds a little less laughable than Speedball but no less ridiculous.

And it's the Penance version of the character that will be playable in Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, soon to be released for the Xbox 360 and PS3.  As a recent convert to the hack and slash lootfest genre, I'm a fan of the first game.  And I'm looking forward to the second.  Though the promise that this game's plot is based on one of those masturbatory crossovers has me a little concerned.

I just hope that while they're throwing in D-listers like Speedball, they find some room for Dazzler as well.  Unless, of course, they've given her lots of dark eyeshadow and changed her name to Ravencloud or some shit.

Source: Kotaku